history counts,



I've tried but all the depressing problems never fail to make me go nuts, regardless of studies or anything.
It seems that i've lost my sense of feeling. This feeling is an excruciating pain - an undescribable feeling. I dont know what to say anymore.. I just know, I'm scare of giving up and yet, I'm scare things will be worse than i thought. I've made mistakes in the past and i dont want same history to repeat - is too painful to be felt. The fear that i have now, is more than numbers could count. I have never felt this fear for so long and i'm encountering it now.. Is so much of a nightmare that i dreamt once - worse than horror nightmares. I wish i would sleep it away to slip the nightmares away. i really hope i could, but i know , never it will be possible.. I've to accept this: Life is never fair. I've to put both hands up and agree to it now..

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